Hearing Voices? March 2007
Three weeks ago we spoke at a conference for financial service professionals. Beginning the session we asked, “How many of you hear voices?” There was general laughter and a few comments like, “only when I go off the deep end.” After admitting we were kidding, we clarified our question by asking, “How many of you, when you are attempting something new, never tried, or something outside of your comfort zone, say to yourself, ‘I can’t do this’ or ‘I’ve never tried something like this’ or ‘What if it fails?’” We asked for a show of hands. Eventually, almost every hand in the room was raised, although all attending were successful professionals. Whether we’re starting a personal greatness project or attempting something new at work or home, it seems the “limiting voices” are sometimes louder than the “encouraging voices.”
What is a “limiting voice”?” It’s the internal voice warning us about possible danger. Essential for survival, it alerts us to the potential threats of any new undertaking so we can remain safe or at least be prepared. Unfortunately, this limiting voice does not stay silent when there’s a possibility for innovation or change because these shatter the status quo and may place us at risk. There’s a place for a limiting voice when we attempt new things. Otherwise, we might become too vulnerable and fail to protect ourselves from possible failure.
When, however, a limiting voice becomes our dominant reaction to change and innovation, any possibility of growth is stifled. No longer protecting us from danger, an unfettered limiting voice may prevent us from exploring any new ideas, relationships, or business possibilities.
Limiting voices take on many forms. Some keep us in check by constantly reminding us where we fall short: “I can’t do this.” “I’m out of my league here.” “I’m a loser.” Some of us listen to limiting voices that focus on external factors: “They are out to get me.” “These things always turn out badly.” “That is just too hard to do.”
Most self-help books emphasize focusing only on the positive. However, we find that individuals who rise to greatness have a keen awareness of inherent dangers. When internal warnings sound, they listen. What’s different is in their reaction? Great individuals do not fight limiting voices by ignoring them or throwing positive platitudes at them; they gauge the seriousness of the warning and reframe what they hear into an “encouraging voice.”
An “encouraging voice” is the one that, in response to a perceived threat, seeks options, demands positive movement, and is based on reality. Great individuals examine previous successes and compare them to the uncertainty (i.e., threat) of whatever they’re about to undertake. Next, they consider either a question: “Am I really out of my league here?” Or, they assert: “New undertakings have mostly turned out well for me.” Listening to this encouraging voice will allow us to become energized rather than defeated.
Many of us are challenged by the volume and constancy of the limiting voices each time we desire to attempt something new, or develop ourselves. Limiting voices can be useful to help us gauge the danger of whatever we’re attempting. But it’s only by transforming them into encouraging voices that we can move forward with energy toward our goal.
The Greatness ProjectTM is researched and written by:
Scott Asalone & Jan Sparrow
Copyright © ASGMC, Inc. 2007
If you experience “limiting voices” when you attempt something new or seek personal growth, experiment with turning them into “encouraging voices.” The following questions provide a process to help you turn discouragement to positive action.
1. List your internally-focused “limiting voices.”
(Examples: “I’m a loser.” “I can’t do this.” “I have to do everything perfectly.”)
2. Create “encouraging voices” based on your life’s reality.
(Examples: “I’ve succeeded in a lot of things.” “I can try to do this.” “I can continue to do my best at everything I attempt.”)
3. List any “limiting voices” about things external to you.
(Examples: “These new ideas always turn out badly.” “They are out to get me.”)
4. Create “encouraging voices” based on the reality of your life and experience.
(Examples: “Some of the new ideas I’ve had have been well accepted.” “This group is wary of change, but they’ve liked what I’ve offered before.”)